My Friends

Author: Fredrik Backman

Who Picked the Book: Christina

One-sentence summary: A group of teenage friends grow up facing loss and heartache, simultaneously enduring and learning how to live and love.

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 8

Our favorite thing about it: We were all engaged by the story of the friends.

Our least favorite thing about it: The writing style was hard to adjust to for many of us.

Main Topics of Discussion: Friendship, Loss, Suspense, Storytelling, Art, Connection, Characters

Our favorite quote: "The world is full of miracles, but none greater than how far a young person can be carried by someone else’s belief in them."

Notes: We all agreed that we enjoyed this book for the most part. A couple of us really loved it. We liked reading about the characters and really wanted to know how their story ended. There were some really lovely parts about love, art, and connection that resonated with us. Some lines were really beautiful. 

But the writing style was hard for some of us as well. The translation into English made it a little hard to adjust to. And the writing seemed overwrought. Every sentence had to have a deep meaning and it was a little bit of a turn off for some of us. We shared the angst that Louisa had over how long Ted was taking to tell the story. It seemed to take forever. And then, some parts seemed deliberately misleading to some of us. Others of us were not bothered by that. And finally, although we wanted to know the ending to the story, we didn't really connect with any of the characters that much. 

So we enjoyed the book and acknowledge that there are profound and touching parts to is, but for some of us it had equally annoying aspects!

Memorable Meeting Moments: It was just the DFW crew for this meeting. We met at a new place for all of us, Escape 360 Cafe in McKinney. We also went to Christina's temporary home for the first time as a group! And Christina gave us beautiful flowers!

What We Ate: We all had shrimp and chicken dishes with varying degrees of spice! We shared two kinds of souffles (which were more like Japanese pancakes) - Biscoff and Nutella with Banana. We also shared a Biscoff cheesecake and got Pumpkin Hot Chocolate and coffee. 

Awake

Author: Jen Hatmaker

Who Picked the Book: Joint Pick

One-sentence summary: Jen details how an affair upended her life and how she made a new one for herself with the help of friends, family, and determination. 

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 8

Our favorite thing about it: Jen's spectacular way of writing that keeps you entertained and thinking deeply about what you're reading. 

Our least favorite thing about it: It's hard to find anything, honestly. Maybe just the implied privilege Jen has/had while working through something like this (see below) - which she would acknowledge but doesn't mention in the book. 

Main Topics of Discussion: What didn't we discuss. Church, Purity-Culture, Church Employees and Elders, Family Dynamics, Emotional Abuse, Trust, Healing

Our favorite quote: "The trauma someone else created is not your fault, but dealing with it is your responsibility."

Notes: Our discussion about this book was long and winding! But mainly, we all loved the book. Most of us listened to it since Jen read the audiobook (and added a few tidbits to that format). The audio format just played to her strengths as a speaker. She is a fantastic writer, but she also nails the delivery when speaking.

We loved that the blended her history and her healing. All of the stories made sense in her self-discovery about why she ended up where she was and how she was going to survive her unwelcome and entirely undeserved situation. 

One aspect Stephanie brought up while we were discussing the book with her via Facetime was just how privileged Jen was in this whole process. We don't say that to take away anything that she has. And we believe she would fully own all of it. For example - she is rich in family and friendships. The relationships she has with her friends and family are incredible. And they live so close to her. They offered support to her in ways that many (good) families and friends wouldn't or couldn't. She also had the time to take off for Me Camp for a month. And a flexible job that she could still do while there. This and more did help her journey, but again, it doesn't take away from her hard work and introspection. 

Memorable Meeting Moments: We had to fight the crowds at Frisco's Oktoberfest happening at the Star. And we went back to Rachel's house after dinner to discuss the book and Facetime Stephanie!

What We Ate: We ate at The Common Table in Frisco (hummus, meatballs, cocktails, salmon, fish & chips, smash burger, short rib, and Heath bar bread pudding for dessert).

The Book Club for Troublesome Women

Author: Marie Botswick

Who Picked the Book: Stephanie

One-sentence summary: Four women from various backgrounds start a book club in their Stepford-style neighborhood outside of Washington DC in the 1960s, figuring out how to work within and also defy traditional gender roles of the time.

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 8

Our favorite thing about it: We loved the character development and how the ladies grew together in their relationships.

Our least favorite thing about it: We actually wanted more of the friendship development and felt that piece was lacking in the story. 

Main Topics of Discussion: Friendship, Transformation and Change, Mother/Daughter Relationships

Our favorite quote: “Examining thoughts and ideas that can impact your life is the whole point of reading.”

Notes: We all universally liked this story. It was compelling and fun to read. We liked each of the characters and were interested in their individual stories. We liked how the ladies grew closer together and ended up supporting each other in various ways. However, we did wish more time was spent detailing how those friendships grew - we felt that the author sort of jumped to the part where they were close without taking the reader along and showing how that happened. 

We discussed the interesting dynamic of Charlotte and Denise's mother/daughter relationship and what can happen when a daughter feels like she has to be a parent to her own mother. We loved that the old art dealer was brave enough to tell Charlotte the truth about her art - so that she could grow and use her talents in a way that would be fulfilling and productive to her. 

We thought that there were so many scenes/vignettes that were relatable to us - about kids, husbands, and jobs. We laughed and nodded our heads to many of these parts. 

Memorable Meeting Moments: We read this book for our annual lake house trip. 

What We Ate: Our traditional lake house menu, except we left the taco meat out on the counter overnight, so we had to get creative! We ate leftover charcuterie, snacks, and made cheese nachos in the oven with the cheese and chips we had planned to have with the tacos. 

American Dirt

Author: Jeanine Cummins

Who Picked the Book: Amberly

One-sentence summary: A woman and her son must run for their lives from Acapulco to the United States to escape the head of a cartel who killed their entire family. 

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 8

Our favorite thing about it: The writing was fantastic.

Our least favorite thing about it: The heartbreaking nature of the story and the fact that it's at least partially true for so many people. 

Main Topics of Discussion: Humanity, Violence, Survival, Moral Dilemmas, Retribution

Our favorite quote: "Lydia is dubious at first, but if you can’t trust a librarian, who can you trust?"

Notes: We all enjoyed this book so much and all rated it very high - and that despite the fact that this story is brutal. And that we know it's a similar and true story to so many migrants. Even so, this book was beautiful for it's stark, but incredible writing. Nothing was held back, but it was told so beautifully. It was not an easy story to read (especially in times like these), but it was an amazing book. 

Here are some of the things we discussed:

The whole journey was about how much of your humanity would remain vs. just simply surviving at all costs. Who would each migrant be when they reached the end of their journey?

We thought it interesting that the author made the deliberate choice to have Lydia have a friendship with Javier. It gave her an insight into his mind and also served to make her pain greater in a way. It also humanized Javier to the extent that's possible. 

We talked about the "missionary dilemma." Would we have sent migrants with innocent teens to cross a cartel-monitored check point? We also talked about the implications the author made about the teens attitudes toward the environment and the Mexican people. The push/pull between the husband and wife (especially considering where they were both from) was interesting - as was the subtle change in the relationship between Lydia and the wife after the wife objected to helping them. 

When paying for the girls' release with the very last of their money, we all acknowledged that Lydia was trying to be the person she believed herself to be. And that her son already thought she was. To not do so would have violated her sense of self. 

We found it so interesting and insightful the way the author showed how Javier - and types like him - are so bent on what they perceive as retribution for wrongs done to them, when it's really their own actions that led to the consequences they experience. They simply cannot face their complicity. Javier's daughter's death was a direct result of her revulsion of her father. But instead of facing that, he turned outward and blamed Sebastian for revealing his true nature to his daughter. 

We discussed why Javier might not have wanted to kill Lydia. And why that statement toward the end of the book when they're on the phone together ("if I'd wanted you dead, you would be.") was so true and interesting. What did he want from her? Why pursue her, then? 

Overall, we found a lot to discuss and a lot to appreciate about this heartbreaking story. 

Memorable Meeting Moments: Both Stephanie and Lindsay were able to attend this meeting! 

What We Ate: Amberly made us the most delicious chicken and beef tacos with guacamole, spicy jalapeno dip, Spanish rice, Mexican pastries, chocolate cake and ice cream PLUS sangria and margaritas.

A Town Called Solace

Author: Mary Lawson

Who Picked the Book: Rachel

One-sentence summary: A girl with a missing sister, a man recently divorced, and a woman about to die converge in a small, Northern Canadian town in unexpected ways. 

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 7

Our favorite thing about it: This was an easy to read, engaging story.

Our least favorite thing about it: The pacing was off and the ending felt both rushed and abrupt. 

Main Topics of Discussion: Parenting, Starting Over, Dying, Love, Responsibility, Childhood

Our favorite quote: "Adults in general were less reliable than they should be, in Clara’s opinion."

Notes: This story held our attention while reading. It seemed short to us - especially since the ending came fast and ended the book quickly. The rest of the book took a leisurely look at these characters, their lives, and how their stories converged. There was a heavy theme of "bad" parenting - telling lies to kids to keep them from painful truths, ignoring or not even trying to relate to your child, and emotional neglect. We wondered if Elizabeth was a completely reliable narrator about her past with Liam. Was she telling the whole truth about his parents/mother? Or was she seeing what she wanted to see in order to take him in as her own? During our discussion, it was brought up that Elizabeth's storyline played into some not-so-nice tropes about infertile women. And while it did make for a good story, that's definitely true. Although none of us really picked up on that while reading. We all thought Liam's relationship with the handyman was a nice piece of small-town life and also a welcome addition to the story. Overall, we liked this short, but interesting story and enjoyed reading it. 

Memorable Meeting Moments: We were caught in a BIG storm while enjoying our hot chocolate and crepes at Sweet Paris! We waited out the rain and got back to Rachel's house relatively dry. We were supposed to swim earlier in the day, but the storm looked like it was going to come earlier and cancelled that part of our fun. 

What We Ate: Rachel took us to Petra Mexican Restaurant for enchiladas, tacos, guac, queso and margaritas. Then, we went to Sweet Paris for crepes and hot chocolate. 

Our Missing Hearts

Author: Celeste Ng

Who Picked the Book: Lindsay

One-sentence summary: A family is separated by a cruel policy, but ultimately brought back together (briefly) by hidden meaning in stories and determination. 

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 7

Our favorite thing about it: The theme of stories.

Our least favorite thing about it: Reading about child/family separations.

Main Topics of Discussion: Resistance, Poetry, Parenting, Sacrifice, Separation, Survival

Our favorite quote: "Why did I tell you so many stories? Because I wanted the world to make sense to you. I wanted to make sense of the world, for you. I wanted the world to make sense."

Notes: For many of us, reading this book was simply too real for our current situation in America. We did all enjoy the story. We loved the themes and how the stories we tell lead us back to each other. Even though the story didn't end completely happily (and some of us were annoyed by the decisions made at the end), it was satisfying enough. The characters and all of their motivations - some unclear for most of the book - were interesting and ripe for discussion. The hardest part was reading about children being pulled from their homes. Had we not seen real-life examples of this and were we not seeing it now, this might have hit in a different way. Much of it was just too close to home. This is a very powerful story and so well-written. 

Memorable Meeting Moments: We were able to swim and get in the hot tub at Christina's house. 

What We Ate: Lindsay got Mi Chante Mexican food for us - various dishes - with Elote Street corn, calamari, and churros