One-sentence summary: A woman’s closest friends rally around her as she waits for a second heart transplant, providing both practical and emotional support for her.
B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 7
Our favorite thing about it: It was so honest.
Our least favorite thing about it: It dragged a little bit in the middle.
Main Topics of Discussion: Illness, Doctors, Friendship, Honesty, Trust, Death, Kids
Our favorite quote: “We had become our middle-aged selves – our wisest, steadiest, most powerful selves yet.”
Notes: We really enjoyed this book. Several of us gave it a 9 rating. We felt that it was really honest and raw and a very realistic portrayal of what really happened to Amy while waiting for a new heart. We loved how each of her friends was uniquely gifted to help her and how they amazingly made time to fly across the country to do so. Here are some of our other thoughts about the book, in no particular order:
1. We had conflicting views of the author in the story. Some of us were really invested in her life and were gripped by the story. Others of us didn’t connect to her, really.
2. Some of us felt that the middle of the book dragged on just a bit because it was a lot of the same details.
3. Although we enjoyed the parts about Amy’s friends, we also had a hard time keeping up with all their names. While it probably is not realistic for a book like this, we wish there was more time to develop each one so that we could distinguish them better.
4. At least one of us was overwhelmed by all the “medical stuff.” It was a bit too realistic and descriptive for some.
5. We really appreciated the author’s explanation of how lonely illness can be. No one can fully know what that journey is like even if they are with you every minute.
6. The one thing we really disagreed with the author about was how much she chose to tell her son – or how little, in this case. We realize this is a very personal decision that each set of parents have to make in situations like these, but we all agreed that we would have divulged more and let our adult son decide for himself what he wanted to do at the potential end of his mother’s life.
7. We discussed the authors moments of anger and rudeness toward the staff and her friends. We all agreed that a good dose of grace is due those who are suffering as much and as long as she did. However, we also agreed that being sick or in pain doesn’t give you license to say anything you want or to treat people badly. We also agreed that advocating for yourself as a patient – while sometimes it would take being very assertive – does not mean you have to be rude. (Ex: The one incident where she got mad at the transplant pharmacist – we thought she had every right to be angry…at her doctor. We felt like she took it out on the wrong person in this instance.)
8. We were divided on this – some of us thought that the book was more about what it’s like to wait for a heart transplant than it was about friendship.
9. We were 100% with the author on her desire to end treatment when she felt it was time.
Overall this was a very interesting book with lots of great points and things to think about. It made for a really great discussion!
Memorable Meeting Moments: Lindsay had to join us on Friday evening due to her seminary orientation. Stephanie had to leave at 6am on Sunday morning due to a work obligation at church. And it rained for half the day on Friday, which we loved! Dara won Phase 10 despite “being terrible at this game.”
What We Ate: All our regular lake house meals! Tacos, pizza, cookies!
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