His Favorite Wife: Trapped in Polygamy

Author: Susan Ray Schmidt

One-sentence summary: At fifteen, Susan marries a man who would ultimately have 10 wives and begins to live-out the realities of life in polygamy including poverty and loneliness but ultimately her strength, courage and studies lead her out of that lifestyle for good.

B.A.D. Girls Book Rating: 9

Our favorite thing about it: The in-depth details of a different way of life.

Our least favorite thing about it: The realization that there are still people who suffer in various ways living as polygamists.

Main Topics of Discussion: Relationships, Courage and Strength, Poverty, Religion, Children, Sacrifice

Our favorite quote: “The times Verlan was home were the most frustrating of all. Knowing he was close, yet sleeping in another wife’s bed was pure torture. The irony of it was that when he was with me, I felt sorry for the others.”

Notes: I’m including a separate post about what Susan spoke to us about since there is so much material there. This part will just summarize what our group talked about before speaking with her.

We talked about the natural and universal feelings of women (and even men) for a close and exclusive relationship with someone. We talked a lot about the religious aspects of this book and how children espouse the religion of their parents in so many cases. Religious fervor and beliefs are so powerful and we wondered at the sacrifice the women were willing to live out in order to follow what they truly believed was right. We also wondered at Susan’s ability to see beyond what others saw and intuitively know that God loves women just as much as he loves men and that her lifestyle was not supporting that knowledge. We discussed how Susan’s life might have differed from others who were polygamists but who either lived in the US, had fewer wives, and/or were not married to a church leader who was so often absent. We talked a lot about the relationship between the sister-wives and how they had felt such jealousy and such kinship and support at the same time. We also discussed the historical aspects of the book regarding the actions of Ervil and how that impacted his family as well as the church followers.

Special Note: We spoke with the author at this meeting, which was a highlight since she was able to provide even more insight into her life and book as well as inspire us by sharing her passion to share how Christ changed her life.

Memorable Meeting Moments: Celebrating Lindsay’s 30th birthday at El Chico along with the chocolate cake (with chocolate-covered strawberries) that Becky made!