Interviewing Susan Ray Schmidt

We all agree that speaking with the author of our latest read: His Favorite Wife: Trapped in Polygamy was eye-opening, interesting, and fun. Susan Ray Schmidt was friendly and engaging. I admit that after reading her book and visiting with her by phone, I felt almost as if we were friends of hers. She probably has that affect on lots of people because of her open and out-going nature. We felt privileged to be able to ask her a few questions and receive her answers. I've compiled a list of the questions we asked and summaries of her answers.

1. Have you received any feedback- positive or negative from the people you wrote about in the book?
Her brother Jay and his wife Lillie (formerly Susan's sister-wife) both said they really liked the book, which surprised her somewhat. (While talking about Lillie and Jay she told us that Jay's wife Carmela left him when he married Lillie because it was the last straw for her.) The most negative feedback has been from her friend Debbie Bateman because of her dislike of the way she was portrayed in the book, and her sisters Ramona and Fara who both defend polygamy even though they are unhappy in it.

2. Have you read Irene's book Shattered Dreams?
Yes- about a month ago, and she recommends it. Susan is still in contact with Irene and thought her book was also an accurate portrayal of what they went through. A Canadian documentary on polygamy was just filmed that included both Susan and Irene.

3. Where do you think the inner strength that you seemed to possess so often in the book came from? (For example: resisting Ervil's attempts to manipulate, searching the scriptures, and ultimately leaving Verlan and the church.)
She replied some of it must be stubbornness. She doesn't really know the answer except to give the credit to God. And her love for her children and desire for them to not grow up in the polygamist lifestyle also gave her strength to leave.

4. What faith are you now?
Christian (specifically Church of the Nazarene). She visited there with her current husband when a friend of her husband's invited them. She felt as if the sermon was directed straight at her. By the end she was shaking and crying and went forward to accept Jesus as her Savior. She feels her calling is to minister to her Mormon friends and family.

5. In the book, some of the other wives accuse you of being the "favorite wife", did you or do you now agree with that assessment?
She never felt that way, saying that she often replied that if she was the favorite and was treated with so little attention, then she sure felt sorry for them! She said that she may have been catered to more because she was his youngest wife, or because she seemed the most likely to rebel. She also mentioned that Verlan wrote her lots of poetry which he did not do for the others.

6. Do any family and friends still contact you- urging you to come back to the Mormon church or the fundamentalist polygamist lifestyle?
She said they had all pretty much given her up for lost at this point. One reason she thinks they probably don't bring this up is because it would also open the door for her to share her beliefs with them, something they are not interested in hearing.

7. Do you have any anger/resentment toward your parents for bringing you into the environment of polygamy to begin with? Did you ever tell them what life was like for you as Verlan's wife?
Susan feels that her parents, like her (and even Verlan) were also victims of this bad theology. She did tell her mother once (near the end of her mother's life) about her experience which greatly upset her mother and in turn upset Susan.

8. Why did the Mexican women marry into the polygamist lifestyle when they seemed to hate it so very much- even more than the white women?
She briefly discussed why she thought some of the Mexican wives hated polygamy even more than the white women by stating that she believed them to be naturally more jealous and hot-tempered because of their culture. Incidentally, she mentioned that a teaching of the church actually commanded intermarriage of the white men with women of color in order to lighten the world's skin tone.

Various other facts Susan revealed which were not necessarily answers to direct questions of ours:

She told of a video produced by and available to purchase online from Living Hope Ministries called Lifting the Veil of Polygamy. It interviews former fundamentalist Mormons who are now Christians. Here is a quote about the video I found on the Living Hope Website: "This documentary examines the roots of Joseph Smith’s legacy, and its modern-day fruit. We follow the compelling testimonies of nine former fundamentalists, who shed light on this practice and lifestyle which has been shrouded in secrecy since the earliest days of Mormonism; but more importantly, they share the true freedom they have found in the Jesus Christ of the Bible."

She said she worked on writing the book for many years. Her children were raised with "mom writing a book." Her children were so supportive and proud of her when she finished it and it was published. She feels it was a bonding experience for her and her children.

She wrote the book for two main reasons. First so that people on the outside would understand that they (in the polygamist colony) were decent people, not crazy or idiotic. They sincerely believed that they were living as God had commanded them. The second reason was to plant seeds for people, in any situation which holds them bound or abused, to think for themselves and perhaps escape through finding real truth.

About the photo of Verlan's daughters on the cruise: One of Irene's daughters set up that cruise for the purpose of all Verlan's daughter's getting to know each other better. She gave one year notice and all were able to come. Susan pointed out that the women in the photo that are wearing the less revealing dresses are still in polygamy and the others are out of that lifestyle now.